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The Secret to Happiness and Maslow’s Hierarchy
by: Bill Boyd
“The secret to happiness is contentment” (Dali Lama)
If we are content with what we have, and where we are, then we are happy.
This means not grasping for attainment of material objects or even spiritual understanding, but being content and just allowing life to happen.
How does this help us to achieve the things we “want”?
I’m glad you asked! This brings me to Maslow’s theory on the hierarchy of human “needs”, the answer to that question is revealed within the following explanation and its accompanying story.
Maslow, was an eminent Psychologist who developed a theory on the psychological need of humans; it is often demonstrated in the form of a pyramid, and referred to in relation to Education, Motivation and Sales training.
A summary of his theory would be: that we humans have “needs” that must be satisfied in an order of priority, before higher ideals can be achieved the lower ideals MUST be met.
The order of these needs doesn’t change from individual to individual, they are as follows:
1. PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS, air, water, food, rest, exercise, etc
2. SAFETY NEEDS, shelter, job security, retirement plan, insurance
3. LOVE AND BELONGING, children, friends, partners
4. SELF ESTEEM (1), fame, recognition, reputation, dignity
5. SELF ESTEEM (2) Confidence, achievements, FREEDOM
If we don’t meet all the needs in the lower levels we will always be in deficit and be trying to meet them before we can obtain the highest levels of complete self actualization and FREEDOM.
Here’s a story I wrote to illustrate Maslow’s theory in a practical situation, it’s illustrated in a negative context because most of us will understand it better this way. Note: (L5) means level 5 as per above.
The following is based on a true story; some details have been changed to allow for publishing here.
A Person’s car breaks down on an old dirt road in the Barclay plains it’s a scorching 44 degrees in the shade, but there aren’t any trees to provide shelter, he’s in the middle of nowhere, outback, Australia.
He was on his way to Darwin to give a lecture on Self Defence. He had been giving these talks for some time now and really enjoyed sharing his knowledge, not for the respect that others gave him, but because he is a master of the subject and it felt good doing it. (L4/5)
At first he wasn’t concerned about the situation and he allowed his mind to be free and ‘take in’, the beauty of the landscape, he started to reminisce about his friends and family, wondering what they’re doing at that time, then he turned on the radio and drifted off to sleep.
When he woke up he realized that he was feeling lonely and would love to have someone to talk to. (L3)
After a few hours he started to feel a little uncomfortable and realized that he could be in some danger so he tried to think of a plan for his safety.
After some time he decided to head off in search for help.
It started getting dark and he became really worried; his senses were tuned into every sound. (L2)
Then he realized that he hadn’t eaten since breakfast and that he was hungry and thirsty. (L1)
After two more days his only thoughts were about finding water to stay alive, he wasn’t concerned about eating because his body knew it could survive for weeks without food, but only a few days without water.
So then his immediate concern was for the basic need of water.
SUDDENLY!! Someone jumped on him from behind, and started to choke him he couldn’t breathe! Then his need for air was stronger than his need for water!
It was only a joke; his best friend had come looking for him when he didn’t show up in Darwin on time.
He found the car then tracked his mate to where he found him, looking pretty rugged. Then as all good mates do, he decided to play a practical joke to give him a fright! They are still good friends today.
The end
The simple lesson here is this:
This story shows a person who had met all his needs and was at the highest level. He had truly manifested his dream into reality and how he quickly went into “Needs Deficit” (ND)
Clearly we must walk before we can run, If we can’t breath we aren’t worried about water, we NEED air, our ND is air; this is a very basic example.
To look at it another way we could say that; trying to be a highly regarded successful whatever (4/5) will not be possible if we are in ND of (1, 2, or 3).
Our ND needs attention first; this doesn’t mean that if we don’t have a house and family we can’t achieve our dream ambitions.
On the contrary it means that we should, let go of our graving, yearning and striving to achieve success at any cost type of attitude, and maintain our lower levels of needs so that we can open the path to the higher levels.
Many of us, myself included have been guilty of forgetting about our needs for friends and family when we are trying to obtain the higher ideals of success.
This area can be a particular problem with the internet, because it uses up so much of our time and attention.
If we maintain our basic needs we will be able share our dreams and talk about them and believe in them and be content and happy about them.
Thus allowing our dreams to manifest into reality.
Doesn’t it make sense that with this kind of thinking we will all be able to move on to the higher levels of self actualization?
Maintain your ND and believe in your DREAMS the rest will happen!
About The Author
Bill Boyd, has been in business for 20 years, he has studied Chinese medicine, Oriental Philosophy, and has a 3rd degree Black Belt in Tang Soo Do. He has coached and mentored several elite athletes to international success. http://www.lifecoachelite.com.
Are you prepared to defend yourself?
Firstly you must be fully prepared to defend yourself. Not half hearted you must be prepared to commit. As a woman you have a right to self defense. Yes of course there are times when it is best to just hand over your purse or even your car and walk away.
But…there are times when you either fight back or risk serious injury or death. What if I fight back and the attack is worse? Yes this is possible, but that kind of person was only interested in exerting power over and violence anyway.
Where self defense starts.
1.The first moment you feel threatened, you use your first two weapons.1.Your voice. Yell, scream, shout at your attacker, warn them to start away. Shout FIRE, not help. In this day and age many people are afraid to respond to a call of help. But, FIRE gets everyone’s attention.
2.Your distance. Create mental boundaries, perhaps 5 yards/metres, become aware, 3 yards/metres face the person, if they are coming at you, shout, yell scream.
How to use a weapon
If you watch movies, often the person using a weapon extends it towards the attacker. Unfortunately an aggressive person will laugh at this weak show of defense. They will easily step forward and take the weapon and perhaps use it against their victim.
If your weapon is your car keys. Hold them in your right hand, with a key protruding. Keep this hand buy your side or hidden against your stomach or chest. Slightly extend your left hand in a stop position towards the attacker’s chest. This means your left foot would be slight forward to create balance. Simply reverse if you are left handed.
This obviously sounds barbaric to a peaceful person. Firstly you are unlikely to cause serious injury and secondly you are acting in defense of your life.
The moment of attack.
At this moment you are shouting, As your attacker lunges at you they will try to grab your extended hand. At this point you withdraw left quickly and attack strongly with your right weapon. Next quickly kick the shin or stomp the foot, with lots of power.
PS If the weapon hand is stopped then you can use the balance of the person, while their hands are engaged with yours to attack their shins and feet. The moment they release you then use your weapon hand or free hand to attack.
A Good Example.
You have to move quickly and with force. But…you do not need to be strong. In Australia two strong young men broke into a residence. The owner responded to a noise and was confronted by these two men. One grabbed her by the throat, she responded by grabbing him by the ears and kneeing him in the groin. She called for help and some neighbours came to the rescue. Both men were arrested and charged.
What was special about this lady? Well she was an Olympic swimming champion, which is why this attack attracted so much media attention. But…what was most interesting is that she is 77 years old!
She wasn’t strong, she wasn’t young and fit, but she was able to take immediate action.
If you have a weapon such as keys or a pen, do not wave it in a threatening manner. As in the first instance it will be easily be taken away from you. Remember to keep it close and out of site. You need the element of surprise in your self defense.
A few common items you may have with you when out and about.
Key or keys, pen, lipstick tube, mobile phone, compact umbrella, hard glasses case, eye brow, or eye liner pencil, nail clippers,. These articles are not legally perceived as a weapon, as would be scissors’ or a pocket knife. And of course you can travel by air with most regular items.
It is important to practice your response moves. It is best to use a partner who is taller and heavier than you. They may need to wear protective eye wear. Because you will be reluctant to use force on your friend, it is useful to practice forcefully responding against a cushion against a wall.
Practice your shin kicks and foot stomps again on a solid spongy item on the floor or leaning against the wall. You can buy high density foam and wrap it around a solid item.
For more specific information on woman’s self defense go to http://www.livingwellpublications.com/s
4274
elf-improvement/womens-self-defense/
From sleep problems, to diet, to snoring to womens and babies health plus many fun and interesting topics. go to http://livingwellpublications.com/blog/
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